From one hell to another.
He turned me out that night, when I managed to go sit with him. Thank God children slept throughout the trauma. My niece was awake, and she remembers the night till date.
It took me weeks to come out of the trauma. One thing which was good about this shifting was, I found the papers of my admission to Jaipur Golden Hospital. The ultrasound showed a detailed fetal ultrasound, while what was ordered was a Kidney Bladder ultrasound. I do not know whether it meant anything.
I remember the sense of failure I felt. Another thing which was good was I knew, my attempts had failed. I did not want to try, at least now for some time. How much ever I was broken from inside , I knew I had to be strong to bring children out from the trauma. I remember the night after he turned me out. I was crying in my room. It was 2:30 a.m. in the night, and children were sleeping. Pari woke up and saw me crying. She asked me what happened. I remember using the old excuse- something has gone into my eyes. Her childhood wisdom told her it was something else. She just hugged me tight and said- “mummy I know you are crying for our papa, I promise we will not ask for him “. it was my daughters who hastened my recovery from the trauma.
Seeing them coming out of the trauma, gave me the courage to come out of it. I shared the reports with Mam. I wanted to know from where they had come to know during my pregnancy, that I am carrying daughters. I wanted to know which doctor had destroyed the most important and delicate time of my life. I wanted to know which doctor had destroyed my life.
I wrote a letter to Health Minister, copy to Prime Minister, President Of India, and many other people who I thought would be concerned giving them all details. These included N.G.O`s, members of N.I.M.C . Nothing came out of it. I waited for almost one month, for some action. The act says the action has to be prompt. But apparently no one cared. Mam, contacted the P.N.D.T department of Nirman Bhawan. I was summoned to Nirman Bhawan and told to file the complaint with the appropriate authority (what’s that???? Where’s that????) I told them, I have no idea. I was sent the addresses of the appropriate authorities by email. Then I filed the complaint on 9th May to the appropriate authorities.
As expected, nothing came out of it. I waited till 20th May , but again nothing. Finally on 21st May I filed an R.T.I application to know the status of my complaint filed earlier. As a result of R.T.I, The hospital was raided on 3rd June 2006 by teams of N.I.M.C. it was only in July that I received the reply to R.T.I that during raid it was found that no form F was filled, when ultrasound was done on me in Jaipur Golden Hospital. This was SEX DETERMINATION according to the act also. So this confirmed my doubts. It was here they had managed to know that I am carrying daughters.
I was called to the office of C.D.M.O to express my views via a formal letter. I was a bit wary because, when it had been established the crime had taken place, than what views (???????). I went there with Bijayalaxmi Mam. There were almost 7-8 people sitting there. I was given a seat, but Mam, was not even given a seat. I felt bad, but then I was helpless. They started telling me I did not have any case. It was better I withdraw the complaint. I asked them what’s the value of my statement – when a woman is herself telling that her in-laws knew the sex of the unborn babies, and were torturing her to get an abortion done. Dr Sahoo told me that the act is silent on this aspect. He advised me to reconcile with my husband, as I could always give him a son, if that’s what he desire. What did he mean from that- I should get a sex determination test done next time or I should go on getting pregnant till I beget a son? Well he started telling him about his son and daughter in-law. He tried his best to convince me I am doing a crime by filling this complaint. If they were forced to seal the ultrasound machine, and if some patient suffers because of that I will be responsible ( ????? as if that was the only ultrasound machine in the area, and who is responsible for the millions of daughters being killed before birth)
I came back utterly disappointed. I knew they are not going to do anything about my complaint. It became clear why the P.C-P.N.D.T act was a failure. Nobody wanted to implement it in the first place. Just in order to put everything in writing I wrote a letter to Dr Sahoo, thanking him for his so called fatherly advice. Mean while, some media people consulted Mam, for her views on female feticide. We were just fresh out of this shock, so naturally she told them about her experiences with the authorities in my case. And naturally then they approached me. I was being forced during mediation to reconcile with my husband on his terms. He was not ready to assure our security, but I had to withdraw all our complaints. I was daily coming back from the mediation in tears.
Disappointed from all sides, I gave my first media interview. And then one lead to another …. But pressures to withdraw my complaints increased. Till date they say in the court that I gave media interviews while we were undergoing mediation, but then what option did I have. Every authority was forcing me to withdraw my complaints. I was summoned to Crime against women cell, and told to take crore rupees and withdraw. Is everything on sale in this country. Every authority told me I would be harassed if I did not withdraw the complaints and went ahead with them. But then why did they make the laws. Why?????
Every day I became more confused. Why was everybody treating me like a criminal for coming out and speaking about the tortures. The tortures continued. Only first they were from my husband and his family, not they were from all those authorities which were meant to help me. Earlier the people torturing me were just a handful, now it was the powerful people in authority who were threatening me everyday|?